One Headlight

A couple months ago my roomie at the time pointed out to me that my headlight was burned out, and my first thought was SWEET, I haven’t been able to see that well at night lately and now I know I’m not suffering from early onset blindness. Since I understand less about the inner workings of a car than I do about how the economy ended up the way it is right now (read: absolutely nothing), I typed “Toyota Rav4 Headlight” into Google and hit search.

Do NOT do this. Everything that comes up will cost approximately $396,532,083.74, which will probably give you a teensy, tiny heart attack.

A work lunch conversation about how simple this would be and a quick trip to the hospital to get my heart fixed later, I headed over to Wal-Mart armed with my manual (which I didn’t even know I had and certainly have never opened) and a completely false confidence.

I managed to walk out of that store with a Halogen Light bulb, my dignity (although there was mention that I was probably going to blow my hand off), and without punching the man who made me feel like an idiot because I don’t know how a carburetor works. Or exactly what it is.

I opened up my manual, opened the hood (okay, that took 10 minutes. AND I had to use my manual to find the opener-lever.), and peered inside when-

“Hey, will your car not start?”
I spun around, and there was an older man standing next me.
“Oh, no- I’m just trying to change my headlight bulb.”
“How’s it going?”
“Welllll… so far, I got the hood open.”
He chuckled, and without saying a word, took the manual and bulb out of my hands. He sent me inside to wash my hands,

(proof I tried)

and when I came out, he had not only fixed the headlight, he had cleaned off my battery and replaced a screw that had come off the front grill. I’m not kidding.

So for months and months and- okay, for life so far, this “man helping a woman because she can’t do it herself business” is exactly what I’ve been tooth and nail fighting. Because, the truth is, I probably could have done it myself. It would have taken me an hour *cough* hourssss, and I might have gotten hurt, but I could have done it. I can follow pictures.

But that’s not the point, is it?……. Is it?

And there it was- what I’ve been missing all along, maybe.

That this wasn’t about a man putting a woman in her place, or taking care of a “lil’ lady”, or any of that stuff-

it was about one human helping another human. It was about compassion, not superiority. It was about kindness, not smugness.

Oh, pride. You are indeed a sneaky little sucker.

I’m not saying that the next time I need something done to my car, I won’t try to do it myself. And it will probably end with a trip to the emergency room and irreversible damage to my car. I’m stubborn, and I don’t learn that fast.

What I’m saying is that I’d like to recognize these things a little more for what they really are, and less for what they’re not.

(I’m learning)
(Thanks, God)

Now all the heavenly splendor
breaks forth in starlight tender
from myriad worlds unknown
And we, this marvel seeing,
forget our selfish being
and know a beauty not our own.
Music: Innsbruck Heinrich Isaak (15thC)

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